In the very next second we vowed that we would not allow these things to fill up the space in our hearts and minds. Instead, we chose hope, determination, laughter and even joy! We experienced moments of freedom and peace in the midst of this devastating blow, and moment by moment we put one foot in front of the other and carried on the way Kristin requested. It was so hard, and the war in our hearts and minds did not let up. There were no easy moments, every moment was a choice to either get up or give up.
Kristin was knocked down again and again and again, yet she managed to get up each time. She got up and she fought harder than before! There were times when each of us shook our heads with disbelief. She blew us away with her determination, and we believed with her until the very end that she was going to survive cancer. I think it was her strength that now makes her death so hard. She was a survivor. She was our hero.
He said, ‘The person that leaves your life doesn’t leave a GIANT HOLE. They leave a [insert name here] KRISTIN SHAPED HOLE. You can try as hard as you want, but you will never be able to fill that hole. It’s like trying to put a square peg in a round hole.’ I understood immediately, and it felt so good to visualize our emptiness this way. No person, place, or thing could ever take Kristin’s place.