This week has been a week of crisis'.
When Shawn and I were home and I saw myself biting my hands because the pain was so overwhelming we knew we needed help. Came to hospital by ambulance. It has taken til now (two weeks) to get the meds right and we are still working out dose. The radiation brought pain flairs that are impossible to name. White-hot to look at, searing embers of firewood to feel, the pressure of a large piece of steel machinery binding them frozen up and locked and impossible. This mind is a beautiful thing and God spare me the detailed understanding of this exact feelings. But I am still full aware of them. Still praying them gone.
And the constipation: 10 days. I can't even begin to share that with you. Nor can I share the next 24 hours of wicked cramps and cramps and full bladder and catheter. Great. then a pain port to get meds in quick, which I love, but suddenly I feel like so many things in means no going home?
My family is barely hanging on. Dinners are whatever keri and kori can huck in the oven before they come to me. Mom and dad got some rest at home before coming back to this horrible bed of me writhing on agony. Mom and Dad and Keri and Kori are here every single day; reaching for water, adjusting pillow, adjusting the bed, being me a snack or juice, and and and. please be loving them as they are helping keeps family getting home-renovating, and all the other stuff!!!!!!!
My eyes are extremely blurry and it is hard to type or read or blog.
You are SO loved! Prayers & hugs for you & alllll your amazing supporters xox
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave Kristen. Thank you for your honesty. Praying that God will carry you through this valley. You are teaching us in your suffering.
ReplyDeleteThank you for all of your comments. Our family reads and cherishes each and every word. If you do not have a blog, you will need to make your comment 'anonymous' in order to leave a comment. We would love to hear who the comments are coming from, so please sign your name at the end of the comment! Thank you for all of your carefully chosen words, your love, and your prayers. ~Keri (Kristin's sister)
ReplyDeletePraying morning, noon, & night - and inbetween. For all of you. Love from Saskatchewan...
ReplyDeleteJoshua 1:9 Be strong and of good courage....I am praying for strength and courage for all of you. Yvette C (used to be Williams)
ReplyDeleteI love you. That's all I can say friend.
ReplyDeleteDear Kristin; You are so inspiring; brave to the core; positive even in the excruciating pain. I am loving on your sisters and praying for you, Shawn, your lovely children, Kori and Keri's family, your parents and Shawn's parents. So I will continue praying in faith for complete healing.
ReplyDeleteWe continue to pray for you and the whole family. Keep being strong and courageous. Love you.
ReplyDeleteMegRyan
You have all been on my heart so much this week. Feeling very useless being so far away but continuing to pray often and asking God to surround you with His peace and love xo
ReplyDeletePraying for you my friend and for Shawn and your children and your loving extended family... You are loved and lifted up constantly. xo Tamalin
ReplyDeleteYou have all been on my heart so much this week. Feeling very useless being so far away but continuing to pray often and asking God to surround you with His peace and love xo
ReplyDeleteNo words just praying. My heart is heavy from one mamma of four to another. Rebecca
ReplyDeletesending you positive thoughts.
ReplyDeletesending you positive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteNothing I can say about this except my heart is heavy for you all. Thinking of you ALL the time.
ReplyDeletexo
praying peace, love and relief from pain in Jesus name! We love you and think of you daily, many times daily.
ReplyDeleteInterceding in prayer for you Kristen, you have such a gift in writing even in all your pain. Pray for release of your pain and sustaining strength for your entire family as they surround you in love:-) Edna
ReplyDeleteWith you in spirit cousin. I have no words, just thoughts and prayers to send your way.
ReplyDeletePraying for you! Thanking God for pain management that's being figured out and continuing to pray for total healing in Jesus name - he is able.
ReplyDeleteYour eyes see everyday miracles Kristen. You are a joy hunter and a grace spreader and a truth teller. You bless us and magnify God through your life.
Prayers sent from Ottawa Kristen. I found your blog when I Googled " paska" last year. You are one amazing woman,strong,fearless and going to get through this horrible time. Praying every day that your discomfort will be manageable and you get home to your family.
ReplyDeleteSaw this lyrics on another FB page and wanted to share them. Love you my friend <3. God's got more years for you! Rebecca
ReplyDeleteHeartbreak come, steals the color from my sky
Blue and white, fade to black and gray
Clouds collide, and tears fill up my eyes
Storm winds steal the words I want to pray
But deep inside of me
There is a flame called faith
And though tear drops fall
There is a choice I have made
Chorus
I will dare to dream about tomorrow
I will hold to hope through all of the pain
I will never surrender to the sorrow
No I will be a candle in the rain
So I'll go on a light that's burning in the dark
Reaching out to others all around
And though lightning strikes
And the thunder rolls
I have no doubt God is still in control
Repeat Chorus
I will trust that life is more
Than just what I see before me
And a bright new day is up ahead
Another chapter in the story
Repeat Chorus
Oh dear Kristen... and family. You are so heavy on my heart. I am awake early praying God will in his great mercy and love bring hope and strength and courage for this day.
ReplyDeleteyou & your family are in my prayers everyday
ReplyDelete