- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Cycle.... um, none!

Today is Tuesday.  Tuesday is usually chemo day or the day I count the weeks in my chemo cycles.  This morning was strange... to wake up and not be going to chemo and not be thinking about all the things I hoped to be strong enough to do 'this week' before 'chemo next week'.  Strange-good!  I'm finding myself thinking about needles, and not going to get bloodwork... it is strange what one can get accustomed to.  And yet... doing the belly injection is still a daily trial.  Oi.  [shake head, smile]

Yesterday was a stay-at-home day.   Today was an out-with-a-dear-friend day!   And both days I did the normal mom role all by myself afterschool... got snacks, heard about the school day, watched the kids playing basketball and be crazy in the backyard, enjoyed time and sunshine together!  This morning I even did the morning routine: made lunches, supervised breakfasts, got kids out the door, got kids to the bus!!!   I did forget to actually put Miranda's food into her lunchbox, but thanks to Diane we got lunch delivered all the same!   [smile]  3 out of 4 kids got lunches out of the gate, that's pretty good for the first time back, right?!  Right!

Came home from my outing and crashed for a full two hours of hard sleep on the couch, so tired but so happy to have had time with my friend and enjoy such a normal good day!!!

Now I'm watching oldest and #3 kid do basketball tricks (such a huge and fun thing to see our least-interested-in-athletics #3 totally basketball crazy!!!), and listening to #2 and #4 jump and squeal as they play with the water hose on the trampoline!  

And, no chemo.  No chemo.  No chemo.  Ahhhhhhh.

I do have a killer headache and shortness of breath which usually has meant low hemoglobin, but since I have no doctor appointments or follow-up for a few weeks I'm just riding it out and resting lots and praying it all evens out.  This body has been through a lot the last six months, stands to reason she needs a little time still to recover!  Thank you for continuing prayers!

I'm continually grateful for the meals that still come, the treats and the texts.  You have been so kind and generous and amazing in your support of me and of Shawn and of our family.  This is something our family reflects on often and I find myself trying to live to your standard of generosity as I can...and look forward to returning to strength and to being able to do more for more people because you have inspired Shawn and I so much!!!  Thank you.  Again and again we are thankful for you!  God is good, and He has surrounded us with so many good people.  Amazing!!!

Yesterday I received a call from the Cancer Agency that my doctor has taken a personal leave, effectively immediately.  I got off the phone, dazed and confused by the BCCA number on my call display... it just threw me for an emotional loop.  Got off the phone and cried, for my doctor and praying peace over whatever her family is going threw, cried for me for meeting a new doctor (I really have felt blessed and have liked my doctor a lot), and cried with a little panic over just the whole thing.  I new I was being emotional, but I also knew that it's okay to vent and let those emotions out.  It is what it is.  After I caught my breath, and then cried-panicked again for a minute and prayed it out and finished out the tears I called my doctor's office and got more detail.  My doctor is gone for the rest of this year and my new doctor is apparently quite nice.  Honestly, I wouldn't expect any different as our experience with BCCA has been nothing short of amazing-kindness at all levels.  It was nice to hear a quick "He is really nice" from the receptionist... words can be such balm.  [smile]   God is bigger and He has a plan and we are in it and I ask that you will pray wisdom and discernment for our new oncologist as we had prayed for Dr. W.  Thank you!

Okay, the water-play outside is getting a bit crazy... time for mommy to intervene!!!  I love hearing their squeals and screams and laughter... those kids know how to have FUN!  Something I'm working on being more of: fun!  ...but I'm still going to intervene before we have a swamp!  LOL

Have a great evening!


  1. This post makes me so happy! I'm so glad that you had such a wonderful normal day. :)

  2. Great update! Hope the eve is a good one :)

  3. Sounds like a rollercoaster of emotions day...I am so amazed at your strength of spirit. I really think you are an inspiration, not only to me but to people around you. Your children are so lucky to be so very loved and encouraged by you. Your strength and powerful hunger to rely on God our heavenly Father is something I use whenever I read your blog to boost my reliance on Him. Thanks for reminding me everyday to look to Him in all I do. You are truly amazing. Praying for you each day

  4. Loved to hear how you're doing - thinking of you during this important time of transition. We'll now also pray for a good fit with this new doctor. Any more hummingbird sightings? We have 4 pesky stellar jays out our kitchen window, but they sure are beautiful. Hoping for more strength, & less head-aches & breathing challenges. hugs, devana

  5. thank God for the normal mom role :) Glad you felt blessed today!


Connecting through comments: