Cycle 2: Week 1, Day 3 10pm

Hello World.
Today was a weird day.  I was tired and draggy and bored all at once.  And all I could think of was this, "If you're bored you must be getting better!"  [smile]  I like the sound of that.  This second cycle of chemo was expected to be a little harder than the last.  But, as I like to be open to the awesome, I was hoping to have the three days of good-meds-energy-surge from last cycle.  Not so.  Ah well.  I didn't sleep well last night, which didn't help the morning.  And I didn't have my smoothies because my beloved Mag1c Bu11et busticated.  Bummer.  Tomorrow, high priority is a new Bu11et! 

And I was bored.  And lonely.  But I did accomplish two things... I showered and I sorted through a pile of papers off the counter... some of those papers were dated 2008!  Um, ya.  So, feeling pretty darn accomplished today and that's good.  I don't like just floating through the days.

Also, yesterday was 12 weeks post-op!  Wow.  Where did that go?  I was here.  We have established a fair routine that allows for multiple points of contact between me and the kids (my goal for sure!), and the house hasn't fallen apart.  We have you all to thank about that!  The meals, the driving, the help with laundry and tidying and projects are absolutely invaluable.  How on earth do people do life without a village of prayer warriors and action-takers?   We are grateful beyond belief.  Thank you.

Tomorrow is haircut day for me... look at that shaggy mop.  I'm going to add some long layers, nothing drastic, but a little pick me up for the changes chemo has made to my hair... finer, more fly-away-ish. 

Having the heartburn pain again tonight... perhaps I will stop eating dinner all together for the first 5 or 6 days after chemo.  It seems to be worse in the evenings, I definitely don't like it.  I've topped up all the meds I can for tonight so am hoping the last pill will be the one to take the pain away away!  I appreciate the prayers.

As for 12 weeks post-op, here's where things are at:
- the big sharkbite scar is still angry and red with little dots from the staples
- my belly button is off centre by a solid inch or so
- the muscles around the sharkbite are definitely still tight and sore, and depending on the wasteband of my pants, the entire side tends to go numb
- I have a weird kink in the 4th toe (beside the pinky toe) on my left foot, that's been there since the epidural wore off
- the top of my left thigh is less numb, but if you stabbed me with a pen, it wouldn't hurt as much as anywhere else on me... weird
- my right kidney is functioning well and we are super grateful for that... let's keep praying health for that little engine... she's doing a great job adjusting and staying strong!!!

As my energy increases post-op, the chemo is dragging me down.  This crossing of lines on the chart in my head is okay.  It's sort of a balance, right? 

I'm glad to feel not so dog-tired as last night.  I love that we have prayers together in the living room each night.  I love the text contact I have with my family.  I love the love that you keep pouring out on us...unexpected and appreciated all the more because I know how busy each of you are in your lives!  Thank you.

Please pray for our kids extra.  Some of them are more affected by "Is it chemo today?"  And the post-chemo days with the meds and draggy Mommy.  We speak openly, age-appropriately, I ask them privately where they are at, if they have any questions... I think we are parenting wisely and carefully, but it is what it is... and parents die from cancer.  That's a lot for adults, let alone young children, to comprehend and find peace about.  Please hold our kids up extra.  I covet those prayers.  Thank you.

Goodnight... may we all have restful sleep tonight!!!
Kristin