Cancer Agency: Vancouver Clinic

I got the call this morning.  My intake appointment in Vancouver is tomorrow morning.  I was shocked.  I was told that we wouldn't hear from them until Wednesday.  Once I got over that surprise I grabbed my notebook and pen and wrote down all the different appointment times, with who, what floor, where to park, etc.  It is going to be a long day.  The clinic pamphlet for new patients says the first appointment is 2-3 hours, they recommend eating a good meal and bringing a snack!  Whoa.

I have childcare and carpools arranged.   Shawn and Mom will come with me.  I'll bring my phone charger, my notebook and my snack.  Cancer clinic number, meds, Care Card.  Kleenex.  Courage.  Peace.  Trust.   My pockets will be overflowing with the prayers of my family and friends and so many people who barely know us but pray just the same.

I feel nervous.  A new doctor.  New clinic.  New routine.  New information to process.  New fears to quell.  New chemo to figure out.  New side effects to agree to.  New sparks of hope to fan gently so they can grow bigger and brighter and warmer and cast light further.

I feel exhausted just thinking about all the shoring up of my emotional and mental state to get through the long drive in, the waiting room, the blood taking, the second long waiting, the meeting of a new oncologist (so incredibly nerve-wracking), the drive home.   Just everything is a lot.

I am curious about what they will recommend.  I am interested in what they expect the new chemo to do and what the "clinical trial" means.  I am holding open my mind.

I really need your prayers.  I am greedy for them.  I ask politely, and I ugly-beg for them. 

I really want to feel secure with my new doctor, Dr. K.  I really want to feel a sense of "he knows what he's doing, he feels good about this, he has a plan and I can just sink into it and let it unfold around me". 

Cancer sucks.

I want it gone now.  I want it shrunk down and stunted and stopped.  I want the chemo to be gentle, the side effects to be completely manageable (mentally and physically), I want this to work 100%.  I want Shawn to be okay.  I want our kids to be okay.  I want my parents and sisters to be okay.  I want my inlaws and friends to be okay.  I just want to see this all work out for good... and by "for good" I ask that that means "healed in Jesus' name"!  Amen.

Thank you for reading this blog.  Thank you for holding us in your prayers.  Thank you for the many kindness so many of you have bestowed on us.  We need your help and are so grateful for your willingness to give it.  Thank you.