Eavesdropping on my life

Sitting on the back deck while child #4 scooters around.  From inside the house comes the sound of two eldest kids kibitzing around (fooling around) and singing at each other and being silly. I should make them set the table.  Dinner is ready in the crockpot, smells yummy.  Waiting for Shawn to get home from work.  Silliness and play fighting playing "keep away" with M's iPod.  B is in on it now.  Sounds like the "fun until someone loses an eye" moment.  Giggling, kids out of breath from scrambling and wrestling.  "Nun-chuck psychopath!" says one kid to to the other.  Random.

Me, grateful to be strong and here.  Present, in this moment.  The urge to just squeeze and hug those kids is almost strangling me.  It would be overbearing to them... They love the love, but my fear is not the same as loving on them and so I hang back, eavesdropping on their lives and conversations, allowing the peace of our Lord and Saviour to permeate the moment, rest softly upon me, and I smile.  So glad to witness the living going on around here. I have had a very good day.  The kids are all so happy with their schools and teachers.  It has been a good "back to school" for us, we are tired and adjusting, but it is good and we have happiness.  I am digging my toes deep into the feels-good of it all.  Like sand on the beach, warm and cool and comfy and scritchy and just good in and of itself. 

Kid #3 is now dancing for me and singing, too... I love these kids. So grateful for these "everyday normal" moments.