PRAYER REQUESTS

PRAYER REQUESTS

- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart


Sunday, December 22, 2013

SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally feel not chemo-sick. 
I finally feel a clear head.
I want to spend time with the kids.  They are on school holiday now. 
Shawn is home.
Let's DO SOMETHING AND GET OUT OF THIS FREAKIN' STUPID HOUSE THAT I AM SO VERY BLINKING SICK OF.
And NOW I AM PARALYZED WITH LOWER BACK PAIN THAT HAS ME IMMOBILIZED.  I CAN HARDLY WALK AROUND THE HOUSE.

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

THIS IS MY TWO WEEKS WITH THE KIDS.  THIS IS MY NOT CHEMO WEEKS.  THIS IS MY CHRISTMAS SEASON. THIS IS MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE.  WHY CAN'T I JUST FREAKING HAVE ONE NORMAL FREAKING MOMENT THIS YEAR????

I AM SO FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY AND I CAN"T EVEN CRY A REAL UGLY CRY BECAUSE IT HURTS MY BACK AND WILL START ME COUGHING AND THAT WILL DROP ME TO THE GROUND.

I TRY HARD TO BE SMILEY EVEN ON THE HARDEST DAYS BUT I AM JUST WEARY.  I JUST AM SICK OF THIS.

I'm sorry.  I'm just.  Needing.  God.  I don't know what else to do.  Please pray that the back stuff will just release itself and stop.
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7 comments:

  1. RenaDecember 22, 2013 at 12:48 PM

    In Jesus name, I pray. Xox

    ReplyDelete
  2. bypaullDecember 22, 2013 at 3:30 PM

    Praying for you Kristin. Huge hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. karenDecember 22, 2013 at 6:42 PM

    Dear Jesus in your precious name we ask for healing for Kristin - take this back pain away and give her a good two weeks with her family

    ReplyDelete
  4. e.melDecember 22, 2013 at 8:40 PM

    Thank you for sharing your honest anger...you have every right to feel this way, friend. I think I would too :( I wish I could wave a magic healing light saber or something. Good thing prayer is stronger!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 22, 2013 at 9:44 PM

    Just know that we love you and we care...and are praying for you every day for healing...thank you for being honest with us so we can share the load in prayer....Edna

    ReplyDelete
  6. QuiltNut CreationsDecember 23, 2013 at 6:37 PM

    Kristin, thank you for being honest. I marvel at your posts; I know I couldn't/wouldn't be as positive as you have been. Praying that the back pain lessens and that you have a fabulous Christmas with your family.

    ReplyDelete
  7. KimDecember 23, 2013 at 9:19 PM

    praying for you Kristin!!!

    ReplyDelete

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