- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Flying solo with 3 co-pilots...and the impossible!

Enjoying some home-time with my boys today after school.  M and Grandma went to the mall for a little retail therapy, two boys are playing hockey downstairs, one boy is play his DS beside me here.  Listening to his squeaks and watching his stims, I've missed just being in my house and hearing the sounds of "everyday" around me.  It's nice to just sit here.  Granted, much more than sitting is a challenge as we wait for the clot to dissolve, but I'm enjoying it in this moment! 

Mom came over this morning and helped sort through clothing to send on to be loved by the next kid.  It was exhausting even though she was doing all the work.  Made me laugh at myself.   Treated to the kids to build-your-own ice cream sundaes after school in celebration of early dismissal days... tomorrow is the last day before our two weeks Spring Break... hooray!   We usually do something fun, go away for a few days, or do a balance of lazy days and adventures.  Not driving and not having the energy to walk distance will curb our plans, but I think we'll still find some fun and ice cream road trips with Grandma's and Papa's help!  Hopefully the sun will come out and we can find a park with close parking for Grandma to take us to!

Did my injection differently today.  Assembled the needle part at the bathroom counter... I have to actually load the syringe myself which is a little tricky because the syringe needs to be almost to full for the correct dosage, and getting the air bubbles out makes perfectionist-me stress because what if there's that one little tiny bubble still left no matter how hard I flick the syringe to get the air up and out?!  Eek!  I'm assuming it's fine... but it does add to the stress a little! lol   Today I got the syringe read in the bathroom, put the lid back on and then took my alcohol swab and syringe to my bed to actually do the injection.  The little break between prep and poke helped steady my nerves a little.   Plus, standing that long is difficult (really, folks, it's hilarious how age-ed I feel on my feet!) so breaking up the tasks helped in that area, too.   Ah, the things I am learning.   Happy to report that the actual poke went better today, I'm figuring out needle angle and the little details a bit better each time.   Yay me, I rock!  [eye roll... I'm sure children have figured this out faster than I!]   The nice thing... when I was in Emerg on Saturday night and was explaining to the doctor and nurse that I was self-injecting and the dose, the nurse said, "I could never do it to myself!" (which always makes me feel so brave, I like it... like getting a verbal gold star) and the doctor said, "And it burns..." which made me SO HAPPY because NO ONE has said that yet... the stuff DOES BURN for like two minutes some days!  It felt nice to be acknowledged and validated on that point!  [verbal gold stars, I like it]

Definitely feeling stronger today than yesterday.  Still not as physically strong as my brain thinks I should be... which is a definite dissonance between mind and body when the mind wants to jump up and go shopping and the body gets super lightheaded and has to sit back down. 

HEY!  GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!
I just got a call from the Thrombosis Clinic Doctor in Vancouver!  The Emerg Doc on Tuesday Remember, the guy who went to bat for me?!?!   ... okay, sidebar ... back up, rewind:  in emerg, the internal medicine doctor was suggesting the seive, then the emerg doctor (who was my doc when I had the blood clot Feb 10) came to chat with me and I told him I was hesitant about the seive thing at this time because we don't know if the lung clot is a new clot (my leg veins are clear, thank you Lord!) or a piece of broken-off clot (which is better actually because it means I am not "producing clots even when on blood thinners").  Another concern to me is that because my body doesn't like the port and keeps having problems around that, wouldn't the seive be just yet another foreign thing in me which my body may not want....   anyway, when talking with the emerg doc I asked him if they had consulted with the Thrombosis Clinic and my oncologist because Thrombosis doc had wanted to know if I had any clot issues going forward.  Emerg doc asked for the phone number, I gave it, and he phoned right there from my bedside!  Wow!  Thank you!   After subsequent back-and-forth phone calling between emerg doc and thrombosis doc, they decided to NOT do the seive at the time but to up the anti-coagulants.  I felt comfortable with this plan, and studies indicate this was a fair course of action.  Okay, good.  My team is in agreement, that always makes me feel happiest. 

Today... Thrombosis Doc called me to say that Emerg doc had sent her the CT scans from Tuesday.  Thrombosis doc had then taken them to Radiology specialist guy at VGH and, although it is IMPOSSIBLE TO GET ONE, the Radiologist is fitting me in for an MRVenogram (an MRI but for veins) NEXT WEEK so that they can have a clear look at the main clot, the clot in my lung, the area around the port so that THEY CAN GET A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING and DATE the clots to see if the lung clot is new or old, to see how the anti-coagulant is working, to determine whether or not to take the port out sooner rather than later.  CLEAR ANSWERS, isn't that what we always pray for?!  YES!  An appointment that is IMPOSSIBLE TO GET... is not impossible for God.  I am just gobsmacked, again, with how amazing my medical team is, how they are repeatedly going to bat for me, that they phone me at my home to check on me well between visits!  God, you continue to blow me away with your amazingness... I am not surprised, for I know you can and will and do... but I am humbled, repeatedly, that you are doing this for me.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you, Lord, for bringing together this amazing team that is taking such care for me and of me.  I am grateful.

Thank you to YOU, my Blogfriends, for your prayers.  God tells us in the Bible that He hears our prayers, to ask and He will answer... and He IS listening, He IS hearing, He IS answering.  How amazing is that!   What are you praying for YOU!?  He cares for YOU just as much as me, big things and smaller things... it all matters to God because He loves us each THAT much!!!!!


  1. Looking forward to some sunshine and outings myself over the break. Hopefully we can find something that all the boys would like to do and something girls for Miss M :)

  2. Kristin,
    Thank you oh so much for always helping to remind me of the power of prayer! Your steadfast journey for your recovery of the big "C" has become the much smaller "c". I cried today while reading the news of the MRVenogram! These were happy joyous tears! God does work in mysterious ways, and will continue working within you & all that surround you. You asked "What are you praying for?" Well, I am looking to get answers all the time out of prayer. My prayer request is too heal my left kidney and or to let the doctor find out what is happening with the left flank pain in the back that I am getting. After my recent hospital stay and docs orders, that I indeed took. Pain has since returned, so here we are back at the drawing board. Thank you Lord for watching out for my friend Kristin, and bringing her some answers and follow up appointments that may give great news! Thank you Lord for giving her the courage she needs for injections of blood thinners. God please continue to give Kristin's mom strength and will power to continue to be a very helpful person to the family. Lord give Kristin's mom peace when she needs it most. Give Kristin's children comfort & joy! Give Shawn your steadfast love & wrap your comfort all around him. Amen!


Connecting through comments: