- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart

Sunday, July 7, 2013

I'm fine.

Trying to make plans, trying to look ahead a little and am looking forward to summer fun.  And then I realize I forgot to do my shot.  And then thoughts of cancer creep in.  And then I want to cancel the plans and the fun and just go throw myself on my bed and let panic overtake me.  Just let it roll over me and carry me away because its a lot of work to live a non-panicked life some days.  You have to keep laying it down, keep trusting in God's peace and that he has a plan and I am in it. But I know I wouldn't like to feel that panicky way for real, so I bury my head in a book or go searching for junk food or find a kid to chat with. The panic is swelling and making my chest hurt right now.  It is what it is.  I am apprehensive about my CT results on Wednesday.  I just want my life back the way it was.  My innocence.  My not-afraid.  My ignorance.  Now I feel tired. 


  1. I cannot imagine. The stress of it all. Ugh.
    I'm going to be praying for you and your family extra this week. It's a big week...lots of emotions.

  2. Praying off that panic right now Kris!!
    Love you so much!
    Looking forward to some fun this week.

    "I made you and I will take care of you "
    ~ Isaiah 46:4 TLB

  3. I just re-read todays Jesus Calling...

    "Trust Me in all your thoughts. I know that some thoughts are unconscious or semi-conscious, and I do not hold you responsible for those. But you can direct conscious thoughts much more than you may realize. Practice thinking in certain ways - trusting Me, thanking Me- and those thoughts become more natural. Reject negative or sinful thoughts as you become more aware if them. Don't try to hide them from me. Go on your way lightheartedly. This method of controlling your thoughts will keep your mind in My presence and your feet on the path of peace.

  4. Praying and thinking of you xx

  5. So tough. The army of love will be praying you through this week. Lots of love xox


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