- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart

Monday, January 28, 2013

Prayer: mommy's rampage

Dinner time. Stress on a good day... the bewitching hour. Hard when momma is frustrated with her lack of energy and ability and being-here-ness. Apparently I was snippy... "Don't breathe on the pizza!"... "Every night we need ..."... the usual. Pretty sure most dinners at most houses have elements of this. Tonight, when B (8yrs) prayed for dinner, "... And I pray for mommy's rampage, that you will calm her down and make her shoulder feel better and give money to the poor people so they can have food."

And for me... heaps of guilt. And then for him, heaps of sorrow for hurting my feelings. For everyone, confusion. In fairness, I wasn't even rampaging. In fairness, he later explained that he was trying to explain how I felt to the others around the table. What the hellaballoo is going on around here?! Oh, ya, cancer. Sickness with a dragging-out-too-long-already learning curve. Still figuring things out. Ready to be better now. Now. Please. Now! Oi. Praying for patience for us all. And peace.

Feeling whiny maybe? Sorry. Also trying to just document a bit of the reality of the feelings and emotions here.


  1. No need for sorry. Whiny is allowed, I am sure. It sucks, the confusion & all. Boo
    Hugs & prayers

  2. I've been thinking about this post since Monday. It's hard enough being a mommy without the extra stress and exhaustion. Praying extra peace, patience and understanding this week.
    From our family to yours... Love you!


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