- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Cycle 5: Week 1, Day 2

Oh my.  How is it Thursday already?!   This is me, my lunch, and my view today!   What a full week we have had, I am so glad to be feeling well today!   Monday was an appointment with my oncologist (the usual week 3 appointment).   We spoke a little about what things could look like after Cycle 6 and were told that there will be a CT scan to see where the cancer is at, and then monitoring me and follow-up based on that.  I am praying hard for remission, cured is the specific ask!!!   If the cancer comes back it would be another set of chemo like this one.  Praying for loooooong remission if not a cured stamp.  I was told from the start that I am "palliative"... so 60 years of remission would be okay, as a second best to cured! ;-)

My white blood cells and red blood cells have a low count this week, the first time my numbers have been low yet!   So, we are doing great to have come so far without dips, but the dips were pretty hugely huge and had the chemo nurse worrying.  I have also had that wicked toothache and my allergies kicked in major last weekend so that could be something to do with it.  I'm usually down for 12-21 days with super, major, hokey-dina-bad allergies every year in May.  We are taking allergy meds and praying against that this year for sure!!!

My oncologist said to eat red meat, eat spinach, and rest, rest, rest.  So I'm doing my part on the lunch, and trying hard to rest... but it's hard to rest when you feel good!  ;-)   I'm trying to be a good patient.  It's just so hard to resist feel-good days... and then this week we got sunshine, too!!!

The view.  I love our backyard view!  

Yesterday we did get to go back for chemo!  Delayed only one day, hooray!  I was very sleepy the last few days, maybe the low counts + busy two days + allergy meds.   We had gone to chemo on Tuesday, as scheduled, but due to the low counts and a wicked toothache in the night, my nurse and my oncologist sent me away to an emergency dentist appointment to rule out an absess.  Got to the dentist (they fit me in that day when I told them I couldn't get chemo until I saw them, thank you so much for fitting me in!!!!!  I think my dentist might have even missed his lunch because his three little babies stopped in and it was 12:30... I'm sorry!!!!), had an x-ray, agreed that as there was no abscess or infection I would hold off on the pending root canal (can't have a root canal when on chemo, actually all dental work is off when you are on chemo, no flossing even!), gave me a prescription for penicillin just in case there was the start of something that wasn't showing, I called back to the oncologist and chemo room, was told to yes, start the penicillin, and yes, come back tomorrow morning for chemo!   Phew.  Busy.    Oh yes, and as we were leaving chemo to go home for the two hours til my dentist, I remembered, "Oh!  We were going to try my port!"  So my nurse came over, took off the Emla cream patch (numbs the skin) that I had put on, popped in the port, drew blood.  Ta da!  Like, Nurse says, "There it is."  Mom, a split second later says, "Oh!"  Me, another second later, "Blood!  I see blood!!!!  It worked!  I can't believe it worked!"  And the nurse had already unhooked me before it was settling in.   GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!   It was all just so fast!  No turning my head, tipping me downhill head first, coughing to get the artery to move, just TA DA!   We walked out of there dazed and confused that it had just worked so effortlessly.   Thank you, God.  Thank you!  You are awesome!

Wednesday morning: Cycle 5: Week 1: Day 1.  Chemo... my fuzzy brain noted the time wrong so Mom and I got there at 9:00 instead of 9:30 ... doh!  And we hate the early mornings, she and I.  So we sat, and waited, for thirty minutes!  Doh.

Finally it was my time, got settled into the bed, went through the paperwork and 20 questions the nurses score you on to check how you are doing: sleeping? eating? bowels working? peeing? any pain? anything else I should know?  how many pain meds? etc.  They are always surprised that I'm not taking anything for pain.  I'm always thinking, "Well, God's taken care of that." [smile]  Got through the list, today's nurse got her stuff ready, accessed the port... and nothing.  No blood.  WHAT!  But it worked yesterday.  So she's telling me not to panic, I'm repeating, "But Dr. P. said not to muck about, it has to work with no effort, why did it work yesterday?!"  And this sweet nurse is trying to calm me, and she's a casual so has never seen me before but had read my crazy files and nothing's coming.  She went to get a second nurse to assist her, she had me cough, raise my arms, nothing worked.  The other nurse tipped me head-down and Ta Da!!!!  Blood!   Hooray!!   Lovely, watery, blood-thinnered-blood!  No air, no mystery weird stuff.  THANK YOU LORD!  And then, the whir of the IV pump, the start of the saline, and off to the races we went.  Lickety-split.  I remember my veins and my forearms breathing a sigh of relief, they actually did a little happiness-quiver of thankfulness.  For real, I looked down at them because they were cheering and I think I heard it!  Thank you God, no needles today!!!

I was very sleepy yesterday morning, finally with thirty minutes to go I fell into a nap.  Poor timing as the nurses are checking quite often cuz the IV pumps are constantly ringing when they think the IV bag is emptied, or when gravity causes a shift in the balancing of the bags and the nurse needs to hang one bag lower on an extender hook.  But, my body was done and needed those minutes with my eyes shut, so I dosed.   And when I opened my eyes, we were done!   Ta da!  I had totally forgotten how easy chemo is when the port works!  Praise Jesus.  Again and again, I praise you Lord, for port working chemo days!!!!  It was interesting, too, that when the nurse flushed my port with this blood anti-clotter stuff (I think that's what it is, they do it each time they finish/unhook the port) I could taste it immediately.  On Wednesday, I didn't taste my chemo like I usually do.  I think it may be the allergies, but it was strange.  Also, my eyes haven't blurred as much this time.  So even though chemo is supposed to be getting harder, some of the symptoms are definitely less so.  God is taking care of things.  I need not panic.  Just don't panic, Kristin.  Every single chemo experience has been different for me, so Mom and I have agreed that we just go with it, assume nothing, trust the God's got a plan, and just take it as it is.  I think that's probably the best way to go about things anyway. [smile]  

Can you see the chubby face and the red cheeks?  That's chemo.  Woot Woot!  The chemo glow.  That and hot flashes, whoa momma!  LOL   As you can see in these last two photos, I was feeling pretty and cheeky this morning.  A fun combo, no?   I'll spare you the fish face pics, but I really love when my eyes go huge... and sticking my tongue out is a signature move I like to make, so you're seeing the real Kristin right there folks!  [wink]   Isn't it fun how we can have emotions and thoughts and feeling all rambling all alongside of each other up in that amazing mind of ours?!  And that we can get it out, share it, share the experiences of this life?  I think that's a pretty divine design and I like it a lot!

So here I am today, Day 2, enjoying the sunshine, and so incredibly proud of Kyle for coming home with Honour Roll and Effort Roll for his grade 9 second semester!   So proud of you, my son.  So incredibly proud.

Today is the day that the Lord has made and I am rejoicing and being glad in it!!


  1. I'm rejoicing too!! Can feel your positive energy all the way to my house :)
    Wish I could be sitting in your backyard with you today. So beautiful!!

    1. You were in my heart, that totally counts, sis!

    2. Oh, and do you like the eyebrows?! I think one seems a little more painted-up than the other!??! Skill required, doh! lol

    3. When I saw the picture I actually said to myself..."she used her makeup & all the tricks she learned" :)

  2. C'mon - we wanna see the fish face!
    hugs xox

  3. God is so good! I'm so pleased to hear that your chemo went so well and that you had such a good day today.


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