My 5 years old just asked me, out of the blue, "Mommy, what's your biggest fear?" and I didn't have an answer. I am scared by things and afraid of pain and hurting and terrible things happening, and accidents and and and...things I refuse to let myself think of because it's just too hard to contemplate... but fear? Answering a child who will see his Mommy fighting through ick the next months, I could answer in all honesty in this moment, "If I didn't have Jesus in my heart I would be afraid of dying and going to Hell. But I have Jesus in my heart and know that when I die I will go to Heaven to be forever with God."
Don't think me superwoman. I am astounded and pleased and grateful for God's peace. I know that not all moments may find me as grounded in this peace and I revel in the moments that do. Shoring up, storing up, spending time smiling in this moment.
I don't have children, but Sonya's girls pretty much just have memories of me being their sick aunt. My husband's niece, who at the time was 7, asked me point blank, if I was going to die. I was stunned, and wasn't too sure what to say. I was in the hospital, hooked up to all sorts of machines, keeping me alive. I told her that what ever happened, she would always be in my heart and that God hadn't chosen yet if He would heal me on earth or in Heaven :) She seemed ok with that answer.
ReplyDeleteLord help Kristin not to fear, for you are with her; She need not be dismayed, for You are her God. You will strengthen her and help her. You will uphold her with your righteous right hand.
ReplyDeleteIsaiah 41:10
Praying Praying Praying,I just wanted you to know that you and your family are surrounded. Here is one of my favorite bible verses:
ReplyDelete1 I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip-- he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The LORD watches over you-- the LORD is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The LORD will keep you from all harm-- he will watch over your life; 8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
Praying for healing, peace, comfort.....Patti
Hey Kristin, sorry to comment so late, but we have been following your blog. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family daily. Your strength and faith are an inspiration to so many, and we have faith in God's plan for you. Looking forward to seeing you today!
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers,
The Epps