- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Emotions and pains and grumpiness, oh my.

Today was okay. Didn't sleep enough but felt like I had slept too much, fuzzy head. Last radiation and feeling a little lost. 39 days of life feeling like someone yanked a drawer out of the kitchen cupboard and shook it all around, plans and life and everything just everywhere.

Was enjoying a quiet evening of Duck Dynasty (tv show) with hubby and kids when shoulder stab hit. Took meds, doubled over with queasy. Empty tummy didn't eat enough today. Trying to eat or have a protein smoothie all through the day. Feels like all I do is try to convince myself to eat things that just don't appeal. Headache. Stiff neck. From all the sleeping. Mixed blessings [smile].

Went for a big walk just now. Eyes mostly closed, thanks hubby for not letting my wobbly self fall off the sidewalk.

Feeling whiny and weeping and totally bitchy and mean. Still seeing silver linings: fresh air, rain drops lightly refreshing my face, legs to walk me, a nice and safe neighborhood. Food to come home to and enjoy [still not feeling interested in food, so fingers crossed-lol].

Just feeling ... Bamboozled. Weird. Exhausted. Lazy. Missing from my own life. Glimmers of normal, so loved being cuddled on the couch w son4. Little one is my biggest cuddler and every time he comes running up to me for a hug he stops just short and I see his mind trying to remember how to touch me and not hurt my shoulder or sharkbite. I hate that he has this fear. I love that he is so thoughtful and considerate. Precious.

God is good. All the time.

May your evening be peaceful!


  1. Since you are dizzy I will stomp my feet in frustration for you! STOMP STOMP!
    I hope you feel a wee bit better now.

  2. Tears in my eyes. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. The good and the bad. We are all so blessed to have u in our lives. Praying strength and love, peace and comfort. Xoxo

  3. Sending you lots of virtual hugs.

  4. Thankful today is a new day! Praying for relief from that shoulder pain, dizziness and nausea. So glad the kids are there to give you a hug right when you need it!
    Love you!

  5. Saw your wonderful son#1 at the hockey game last night. What a lovely boy he is!! You certainly have done yourself proud in his rearing. I hope today is less painful for you and that you can enjoy some of the food that is being brought to you with love. Judy S.

  6. It's ok to feel everything you are feeling....I pray over all, you feel His peace. ~Barb

  7. Thanks Kristin for sharing the tough stuff too, not just the victories and positive. Thank you for being real.
    Blessings on you and your family.
    ...Love that precious bit about your youngest's thoughtfulness.


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