- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart

Monday, September 30, 2013

Cancer Agency: Vancouver Clinic

I got the call this morning.  My intake appointment in Vancouver is tomorrow morning.  I was shocked.  I was told that we wouldn't hear from them until Wednesday.  Once I got over that surprise I grabbed my notebook and pen and wrote down all the different appointment times, with who, what floor, where to park, etc.  It is going to be a long day.  The clinic pamphlet for new patients says the first appointment is 2-3 hours, they recommend eating a good meal and bringing a snack!  Whoa.

I have childcare and carpools arranged.   Shawn and Mom will come with me.  I'll bring my phone charger, my notebook and my snack.  Cancer clinic number, meds, Care Card.  Kleenex.  Courage.  Peace.  Trust.   My pockets will be overflowing with the prayers of my family and friends and so many people who barely know us but pray just the same.

I feel nervous.  A new doctor.  New clinic.  New routine.  New information to process.  New fears to quell.  New chemo to figure out.  New side effects to agree to.  New sparks of hope to fan gently so they can grow bigger and brighter and warmer and cast light further.

I feel exhausted just thinking about all the shoring up of my emotional and mental state to get through the long drive in, the waiting room, the blood taking, the second long waiting, the meeting of a new oncologist (so incredibly nerve-wracking), the drive home.   Just everything is a lot.

I am curious about what they will recommend.  I am interested in what they expect the new chemo to do and what the "clinical trial" means.  I am holding open my mind.

I really need your prayers.  I am greedy for them.  I ask politely, and I ugly-beg for them. 

I really want to feel secure with my new doctor, Dr. K.  I really want to feel a sense of "he knows what he's doing, he feels good about this, he has a plan and I can just sink into it and let it unfold around me". 

Cancer sucks.

I want it gone now.  I want it shrunk down and stunted and stopped.  I want the chemo to be gentle, the side effects to be completely manageable (mentally and physically), I want this to work 100%.  I want Shawn to be okay.  I want our kids to be okay.  I want my parents and sisters to be okay.  I want my inlaws and friends to be okay.  I just want to see this all work out for good... and by "for good" I ask that that means "healed in Jesus' name"!  Amen.

Thank you for reading this blog.  Thank you for holding us in your prayers.  Thank you for the many kindness so many of you have bestowed on us.  We need your help and are so grateful for your willingness to give it.  Thank you.


  1. I love reading your blog, but wish it didn't exist, if you know what i mean. I pray for you, for all these things that you've requested prayer for. Thank you for sharing so beautifully... a friend of the twins

  2. I've already been praying about this next step and will continue to do so. I'll be praying especially hard tomorrow!

  3. Praying!!! Healing coming up...AMEN!!!

  4. You will be in my thoughts and prayers the moment my eyes open in the morning xoxo Lisa and Duane

  5. Heading into my prayer closet right now... xo

  6. Kristin, reading your words is similar to reading a psalm! You speak so honestly about your fears and yet you always come back to trusting the Lord; I praise Him for your faith, and my prayers are with you.

    Psalm 34:4-8
    I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears.
    Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame.
    This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
    he saved him out of all his troubles.
    The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
    and he delivers them.
    Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

  7. Hi Kristin. This is Leia's mom, from Dunach. Thinking about you and yours tomorrow, as my husband goes in for cancer surgery. Keep our chin up and know that you are in our hearts./ Christina

  8. Just know we are in prayer for you Kristin, In thee oh LORD do I PUT my trust! You are such an inspiration, your blog is part of my daily routine...pray also for a covering over your family, may the LORD continue to pour His peace over you....With Love Edna


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