- Peace for Shawn and I, for Kyle and Miranda and Braden and Connor, for our parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and inner circle friends watching and hurting as we go through this
- that God would keep soft our children's hearts toward Him through all the emotions of this hard journey
- strength and stamina; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually
- that the cancer shrinks to gone, gone, gone!
- gentle side effects to this second round of chemo
- family unity, harmony, love, strength, joy, happiness
- anything else you feel God puts on your heart

Monday, September 30, 2013

Hard thoughts

Jesus Calling: September 30

I am perpetually with you,taking care of you. That is the most important fact of your existence. I am not limited by time or space; My Presence with you is a forever-promise. You need not fear the future, for I am already there. When you make that quantum leap into eternity, you will find Me awaiting you in heaven. Your future is in My hands; I release it to you day by day, moment by moment. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow.

I want you to live this day abundantly, seeing all there is to see, doing all there is to do. Don’t be distracted by future concerns. Leave them to Me! Each day of life is a glorious gift, but so few people know how to live within the confines of today. Much of their energy for abundant living spills over the time line into tomorrow’s worries or past regrets. Their remaining energy is sufficient only for limping through the day, not for living it to the full. I am training you to keep your focus on My Presence in the present. This is how to receive abundant Life, which flows freely from My throne of grace.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
—Matthew 6:34

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
—John 10:10

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”
—James 4:13–15


Kristin:   That "quantum leap into eternity"  stole my breath away.  I am not afraid of being dead, I will go to heaven.  My heart breaks at the thought of being missing from our kids' lives, them not having Their mom for talks about dating, buying her grad dress, wedding dress, happy-tears-streaming down my face as he stands so handsome waiting for his bride to walk down the aisle, grand babies and Christmas mornings, sports days, assemblies and book fair days.  I want them to remember me smiling and plump, laughing and listening, me as me not me with sad eyes and sad-crying.  I want so much more for them.  I am so sad this morning.  Having trouble keeping composed.  I really don't want to die.  I really am nervous about chemo again. I feel so many things and nothing.  I just will keep choosing to trust.  The heartbreak is passing.  I trust you, Lord.  I thank you for every minute I have with my kids.  I love every minute I have with Shawn.  I am glad for the many many many many joys you bring and keep bringing.  You surround us with your love and you blanket us in your peace.  You have Angels around each of us.  You have put friends and good people around us and to take care of us and to help us.  I will keep counting these many blessings and I know you're not done with any of us yet.  You have a plan and we are in it.  I thank you for your peace and your love and your hope.  Amen.

1 comment:

  1. I read through to the end today (you know that I can't always do that when you write about your kids) and the tears are flowing. I am so glad that your strong faith in Jesus gives you the peace and strength that you need to get through these tough days. Love you!!


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