Listenning in on my family's dinner conversation. I had a lovely-busy day w company and then Christmas shopping and errands w my mom. I am resting on the couch. I find it very hard to be with my kids. My heart, on any given day, is overcome with love for those dear little people. I am impressed by them, in love with how their minds work, I love their creativity and their connections to each other. On a perfectly normal day I can be found hugging my beloved children, tears flowing from a joyful heart. Add the cancer-y current circumstance and the tears come all the quicker, are harder to stop. I don't actually want them to stop. I love that my kids know that these tears come from a heart full of love for them. "I am so excited to see what you are doing... My heart is so full of love for you... God loves you even more."
Trusting and believing that God is in control of this. Knowing that God loves me so very much. Knowing that God has a plan and we are in it. Feeling His love and care. Resting in His peace. Even when the tears rush and tromp across my coping. Even when a simple kindness by my husband brings on tears of love and worry for him. Even then. God is good. I am so grateful. The peace over me makes absolutely no sense. My rational mind tells me I should be weeping and throwing cushions and curled up in a ball in the corner. My heart knows God's peace. It makes no sense but why question the beautiful truth.
Why, indeed. Just rest in it.
ReplyDeleteLuv & prayers right now...
xox
It's not often that I get to see you 'mother' your children when my own kids (or other kids) aren't around. But as I have sat in your house over the last few weeks, I am continually in awe at how much those kids know and feel your love. The quiet snuggles, the sideways glances to see if you are watching them, and their watchful little eyes making sure you are doing OK are just a few of my little observations I have made. Your kids are loved and they know it!! You are an amazing mom Kristin!
ReplyDeleteI'm so deeply thankful that you are feeling God's peace and love and care.
ReplyDeleteAs always - I love you much.
Thankyou for this:
ReplyDeleteTrusting and believing that God is in control of this. Knowing that God loves me so very much. Knowing that God has a plan and we are in it. Feeling His love and care. Resting in His peace. Even when the tears rush and tromp across my coping. Even when a simple kindness by my husband brings on tears of love and worry for him. Even then. God is good. I am so grateful. The peace over me makes absolutely no sense. My rational mind tells me I should be weeping and throwing cushions and curled up in a ball in the corner. My heart knows God's peace. It makes no sense but why question the beautiful truth.[This was perfect for me to read out loud, it brought me enlightenment, which was needed as I cry. You are God's blessing. May God bring you what you need today especially as you get ready to go into surgery]