The fear and the worry are so close to the surface around here. Had a heart-to-heart with our oldest in the quiet of the house today. Poor love, his heart is heavy and his mind is confused. I told him that if he wasn't upset I would be worried, that it's okay to be afraid or to cry. He is not afraid of me dieing, he is secure in the knowledge that God will preserve me. My son (14yrs) doesn't want me to have to hurt through this process. Bless him. Pray peace for him. Let him be encouraged that the process and the hard parts are all working to good. Pray that God will guard the hearts of our four little ones. This is just such a huge and yuck piece of our family's story and we are all overwhelmed.
Yesterday, mid tea party with Mom and Sisters, I got the "the radiologist wants you to come back for another screening" mammography phone call. Fear. Panic. Deep breathes. Drink tea. Smile. Savour the moment. Enjoy the conversation. Surrounded by those who love you. Not alone. God is in control. Actually did enjoy the tea and the rest of the afternoon. Silver linings. God is good, He really is...sometimes you just have to give your spiritual and emotional eyes an extra minute to focus.
This morning I was able to get in to see my GP. She is lovely and supportive and really really really wants me to be victorious. And she's praying for me. Bless her. She gave me some new pain meds for the shoulder-of-horribleness (I daily make peace with that sucker, and nightly forget about the truce cuz it cheats and sneak attacks with wicked, thrashing-in-the-bed-waking-up-dear-husband pain). I am super glad for the new meds to try. And I asked for a bone scan (not that I want any more news, good or bad at this point, I'm news-ed out, frankly) and between her and the awesome Miss Booking Receptionist, God blessed me with an appointment for tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow! Praise Jesus. Let's get all the puzzle pieces collected so the crack team of medical people God is assembling with know exactly how best to efficiently kick cancer out of my body! Amen!!!
So, rollercoaster. Had a doctor-y morning. Had a lovely lunch with a dear friend. Was blessed with toilet paper and peanut butter and mayo. Had a lovely time of quiet togetherness with eldest son. Today was good. Yes, there is pain creeping up on me again. Yes, I am super tired and was too glad for time with son to waste time on a nap and now am feeling it. Yes, and even did my morning power walk with another dear friend! Yes, there are a zillion unanswered questions. But yes, God was here. God is here. God's people are praying and I can feel it. Blessings on you as you continue to bless us with prayers and with kindness. We covet those prayers, keep up the good work, I love knowing that people around the world are bringing my family to God all through each day. Pray peace and pray healing!!! Thank you.
Kristin, may the God we serve give you and your family the peace that passes all understanding. May your body and mind relax and be at rest when you go to bed. May Gods' strength infuse your body from head to toe and in every area of your body. My prayer for you:
ReplyDeleteFather in the name of Jesus I thank you for healing virtue being activated in Kristin's body right now. I thank you father that in the name of Jesus Kristin is healed of cancer in her whole body. In the name of Jesus I thank you that every organ, tissue, blood vessel, nerve ending and cell in Kristin's body functions in the perfection that you heavenly Father created it to function. I thank you that the disease of cancer is dried up and removed from her body according to your WORD, which says she is healed by the stripes of Jesus. I thank you Father that cancer has no place and the very root of cancer is being removed right now in Jesus name. Thank you God for assembling a top Godly medical team to be your hands here on earth. Father in the name of Jesus, guide the surgeons hands on Nov. 14th when Kristin is in surgery. Let every cancerous cell be removed in Jesus name. Father, I further ask in the name of Jesus that the tumor in her shoulder be supernaturally removed by your hand. I thank you that even now it is drying up and being removed. Father let your peace be with Kristin as she goes into surgery, while she is in surgery and while she is recovering. Let your presence be in the operating room, recovery room and throughout her room in the hospital Lord God. Fill her home with your presence like never before O Lord. Let your precious Spirit be felt in a tangible way in their home. Protect, guide and keep them safely in your arms O Lord. Let them feel your strength in this season of their lives. I bind Kristin to YOUR Word which says she is healed in the name of JESUS. And I thank you in advance for a complete and total recovery. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.